hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
