My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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