She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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