Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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