I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
