I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
