I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
