i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize