I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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