Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
