i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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