I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we're so committed to being not committed
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
