YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
