Screwed.edu
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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