If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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