Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
