Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
