pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
