The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
