it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
