Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
