She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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