didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
