I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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