Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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