evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
