I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
