I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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