Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
