she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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