i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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