Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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