But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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