But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
