she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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