No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
