Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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