My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
