I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
