Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
