just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
