Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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