we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
