I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
