I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
