Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize