I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
