It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
