I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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