i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize