Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
