We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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