we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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