A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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